You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment preparing for her comeback record in eight years, ecstatically in love with her current love, and finally the mother of a toddler after facing fertility challenges for a decade, feeling invincible. Suddenly in spring she was found to have a breast cancer diagnosis.
The musician, birth name Jess Cornish, is famous for speaking her mind. The LP, her latest release, was intended as an candid account, addressing every moment of pain she’d endured since she last made an album (a gynecological condition, pregnancy loss, unsuccessful partnerships, gaslighting, mental health struggles) with her usual frankness. The lead track, No Secrets, was released in April. But by then there was a mighty secret. The illness. Later follow-up track, the upbeat Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and Cornish was talking to press about how she was living her best life, while at the same time coping with her cancer. Subsequently she went public, and in the start of summer she underwent breast removal surgery.
She gives me her best “Seriously?” expression. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they inquire, ‘Any updates?’ and I’m, like, ‘Well, not much…’” the singer has just had to call off performances because she’s still waiting for reconstructive surgery.
We’re at a studio in the capital. She is wearing a light brown synthetic jacket, jeans with detailed white appliqués, beige footwear and oversized specs. Imagine biker chic meets 70s singer aesthetic. “As if I’m in the 70s and I should have a man with facial hair.” Like the film, I say, thinking of the movie. “That’s what people called me at school!” She grins. Cornish is fast-thinking, bold and blunt. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her standup debut next year. “I love making people laugh. When performing I basically roast the audience.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
The artist was planning an appearance at the ceremony when she noticed an abnormality. “I promptly visited to get it checked, had an ultrasound, and they said, ‘It looks like nothing; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I insisted, ‘But I can feel it. My arm hurts and tingling in my hands whenever I wake up.’ And they suggested, ‘How about a biopsy?’ It happened on March 28, the day after my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The physician told her if it was serious she’d call on the start of the week. By then the singer had convinced herself it was nothing. The way she tells it, it was just bad timing to receive a diagnosis when she had a busy schedule.
“Just two weeks before from debuting the project after eight years without an album and no new music. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I assumed, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I log in expecting it’s all going to be good, and she goes, ‘You might want to sit.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she reveals, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your biopsy results have shown malignant cells.’” What did you say? “I replied, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. The timing is terrible.’ My initial thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Some men find me challenging due to my self-awareness
She found the surgery scary and bizarre. “I dislike anesthesia. They lead you. During crises you are wheeled, but this time I just marched with a gown on and my bum hanging out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been fortunate. Without chemo or radio, just the procedure. “Cancer is awful, but yet Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal recently and my one side now appears as a fruit under fabric.” She smiles again. “At least the nipple remains.”
The follow-up procedure is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her boobs, she remarks, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. So inconsiderate! I thought, why make it worse, I’m already having a rough time. How offensive! Ironically I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be perfect. Illness changed that.”
A History of Health Challenges
She is accustomed to medical issues. She thinks her outlook on her diagnosis has been so positive because she’s used to health crises. They have often coincided with peak moments, functioning as a wake-up call, or punch in the stomach, to make her recall not to assume everything is fine. “Honestly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘You having a good time? Hold on.’ Since childhood, it has always gone alongside achievements for me; a major or strange event has affected my well-being.”
She reminisces to her 11-year-old self, already making her debut performing in the West End in Whistle Down the Wind (she was selected at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the cardiac issue Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as vertigo and palpitations. “I rehearsed between visits on an drip, and being readmitted at night.” She jumps ahead several years, and 17-year-old Jess has become part of the female band Soul Deep while attending the Brit School. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was ready to debut in recently I had a collision and my larynx moved up and I was unable to vocalize for a twelve months.”
Hey, I say, wait, I need a moment. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
